Well, there’s a random title for you. However, this is something I wish to talk about as it’s something I have to deal with on a daily basis. I am blessed or cursed with breasts that are naturally on the larger side, whichever way you wish to look at it. Therefore I feel I have a valid opinion on the subject and can convey my opinion without the ignorance of most.
They are not alla that. Trust me, I spend more time wishing them away than appreciating them. Friends of mine with smaller breasts (though usually still of a proportionate size) tell me how “amazing” they are and how they want me to give some of mine to them. This leaves me wondering how people view the life of a busty woman. Despite popular belief, it is not fun to walk down the street and have people stare because it’s not always the hot guys you’re looking back at. It’s the father’s pushing prams, the thirteen year old boys walking beside their mothers, the perverted old men sleezily smiling at you. At a party or a night club, boys feel that they have the right to walk by, cop a feel without so much as looking up at your face, then walking away again. Just because they are there doesn’t mean they are yours to gawk at. We rarely hear the cliché “beautiful eyes” speech, instead being greeted with “Look at the t#ts on her!” or “Please can I touch them?” .No, kind sir, you may not.
Then there’s the bra shopping. Oh Lord, the bra shopping. The height of sex appeal, I know. Not being able to find your size in the cheaper department stores, and let’s face it, I’m a self-proclaimed Recessionista; I want to pay a fiver in Penneys. Having to go to the more expensive Lingerie shops to find the bigger sizes, I find even THEY don’t have them, usually stocking 32FF’s. If there is a woman with the size 32FF out there, I would sincerely like to meet this creature. Even if your size is miraculously there in an appealing colour, it rarely fits, each lingerie shop having a totally different measurement for DD. And the sales! Trying to find a reasonably proportionate bra in the January sales is ridiculous. I am forced to watch in envy as the members of the ittie bittie t#ttie committee buy 75% off bras in their droves. This year I opted to buy two bras in substantially larger sizes and adjust the straps to MAKE them fit, simply because they were reduced from 30euro to 5euro each. And to my surprise, they fit perfectly! Which will show you the unreliability of the marked sizes.
I sincerely hope this post isn’t mistaken for self-praise or narcissism as, clearly, these conditions are hardly desirable.
So there you have it; the life of a big breasted woman. I apologise if you have keeled over from the pure sexual overload of the life surrounding the boobies(ahem….). Hopefully this will inform you that it’s not all roses and dandelions and that you should be proud of what you have because I guarantee it, no matter what size breasts you have, someone will envy them. The sheer contradiction of the attraction is baffling. Big breasts, in effect, are two mounds of fat pushed up to your chin for the world to marvel at, but you can’t be “fat” and be beautiful, right? Society’s standards today perplexing, and I hope my little insight will make you remove your rose tinted spectacles and perplex along with me at the attraction to the big paps.
Therefore, ladies, be proud of what you have! Flaunt those ittie bitties for the world to see!
And, guys, on behalf of busty women everywhere, my eyes are up here.
Aila Maritz, xox
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