Thursday

The stages of grief through music







Silence.

The stage where you’re numb. You range from feeling nothing to feeling physically sick from the pain. To listen to any type of music would be pointless. At this stage music is nothing. The sound of your own tears is loud enough.


Self-pity.

The stage where all you want to do is snuggle up with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and a box of tissues and listen to songs directly relating to your situation. Be it a love song, a song about loss, or just any song with a sombre tone or melody. Even though these songs will inevitably cause you pain, you listen anyway because it makes you feel like you’re part of something bigger, an emotional state that links you to millions of people around the world so you don’t feel completely alone. I’ll link some of my favourite self-pitying songs here that will associate with a few situations.

Evanescence: My immortal http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7CRQ2zuyeU

Ray Lamontagne: Empty http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mT69zOTNa8Q

Christina Aguila: You lost me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=On7sbkiZ5MY

Paulo Nutini: Last request piano version http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0mnlQX7W9w&feature=fvsr


Remembering who you are.

The stage where you listen to inspirational music, the music that speaks to your soul. The sweet melodies that remind you to just stop, breathe and appreciate the beauty of the music. This is the point where you begin to appreciate beauty again, you don't want to wallow in the depths of despair anymore. You being to remember who you are, who you were before this. This is your music. It's difficult to recommend the music for this stage of dealing, but heres some music that works for me, heres my music.

Ray Lamontagne: Be here now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9Upwd_gqDk&feature=related

Debussy: Clair de Lune http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlvUepMa31o

Brooke Fraser: Scarlet http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qy8h-yel0gg

Shawn Lee's Ping Pong Orchestra: Kiss the sky http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jQcl0v26Ms

Glen Hansard: Leave http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFxylUv3mVk

Eva Cassidy: Somewhere over the rainbow http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccCnL8hArW8 (my cousin read this blog and suggested I add this in, aint that sweet)


Anger.

In other words, not giving a fiddlers f#ck anymore. Or at least convincing yourself that you don't. This is where you listen to loud music and stop caring about the world and everyone in it, becoming completely lost in the upbeat f#ck it attitude of the song. Usually when you listen to this music you'll have a certain someone in mind, a certain few people, or else you'll stick your finger to the world with your box of tissues still in hand and belt the lyrics at the top of your lungs, simply because you can. Here's some examples of songs to get you in the angry mood.

Foo Fighters: Best of you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtfE72Ni9_Y

Kings of Leon: Four kicks http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHPXIXItlpQ

Bon Jovi: It's my life http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EU4nOERhczc

Nirvana: Smells like teen spirit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTWKbfoikeg


Acceptance.

Now this is the place you want to be. This is where you accept what has happened (obviously enough) and realize you're a stronger person because of it. You'll stop thinking long enough to see that you're still here. It's time to move now. You can begin to accept life again, never forget that period in your life, but be happy you're still around to see tomorrow.

The Weepies: Can't go back now http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JscAwVu2QI

Lily Alan: F#ck you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scXxt6QOyHA

Paramore: Misery business http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCyGvGEtOwc

Lenka: The Show http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnN30rs5NkQ



Well there you have it, my bible of lyrical grief.


Aila Maritz xox

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